So besides the post that nearly started WW3 lol, I've pretty much been MIA. I've just been so busy! Or tired. Something. Quick update:
1. I graduated college! *takes a minute to jump and scream and shout* that's right folks, I am the proud owner of my degree in paralegal studies!! Great day, great feeling, great big sigh of relief! And then I get to do it again in two years when I'm done with my bachelors degree. Assuming UB hasn't killed me first. As stressful as it is, I still say I'd be a permanent student, because I really am that dork who likes learning. That and I don't want to face my student loan bills when I am finally done!
2. Finished my first 5k in 38 minutes!!! Two years ago I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. Fast forward, and I'm over 80lbs down and running! It's work, and it's hard, but I was so proud of our team when we crossed the finish line. I'm gonna beat that time tho, I want to finish my next 5k in 30 mins or less.
3. My baby is a high schooler!! #1 passed, he passed, thank god almighty he passed! He scrapped by just barely in social and math, but his gpa was the highest it's ever been. So next year he is an official high school freshman. I am not old enough to have a child in high school! (No really, I'm not. Teen mom and all) I am so freaking proud of him, and so sad at the same time. My baby is not a baby anymore, and in a few short years he'll be moving off to college!
4. Winners of the coolest parents ever award goes to: we surprised the dudes with a one week trip to disney. Completely surprised, had no clue. The look on #1's face was PRICELESS. #2 was more excited about the balloons that came pouring out of the box lol. We had an amazing time, minus the few temper tantrums along the way. How could you not tho, it's DISNEY!! I swear next time I'm just gonna hide out in the castle and live there forever. It is magical.
5. I survived my first UB semester! 3.5 gpa, and let me just say I was mad! I've never gotten less then a 3.9. My OCD anal retentiveness won't let me get anything lower. I know it's not bad by any stretch of the imagination, and juggling a full time job, two kids and a hubs, and the gym three times a week plus full time school is a lot for anyone, but still. Oh well, I passed, whoop whoop! Now it's time to get ready to apply to business management school. *gulp*
6. Happy anniversary! The hubs and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary! (Awwwww) it seems like longer, probably because we've been together since I was 18. But there was a time that I thought we weren't going to make it to a one year wedding anniversary. A relationship takes work, and effort, and we've done that, and we're stronger today then we ever have been. Not saying that there aren't days I wouldn't mind burying him in the backyard lmao, but overall, I done good!
7. Happy birthday! #2 turned 4. *wails* why do my babies have to grow so fast? Next year he'll graduate preschool and start kindergarten. Sigh.
I think that's it? I'm sure I forgot something, I'm old and my mind isn't what it used to be lol. I have been busy busy busy. I'm ready for a vacation and a glass of wine!
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Monday, July 8, 2013
Saturday, April 30, 2011
An Oldie From The Past
This is an old blog I wrote, when everyone used to use MySpace. (Remember that? It was only like 2 years ago!) The hubs and I survived, but barely. There was counseling, talking, and alot of rebuilding. I'm glad I did give him a second chance, even though at the time I really wanted to bury him in the backyard. But every relationship takes work, and effort, and every marriage is or better or for worse. It's easier to walk away when the going gets tough, but it's the true measure of a relationship if you can stick around.
Here we go again. This is what I won. This is the man that was mi vida, even tho apparently I'm not his.
He took money out of our wedding fund, and lied about doing it. He said his dad did. He confessed by leaving me an index card on my car. Four months before the wedding of my dreams, he left me a letter taped to the television calling off our wedding. He went for MIT training in Florida, and the night he got back, we talked about getting back together, and were even together (biblically). Two days later he told me he'd been seeing someone else, and actually picked her. He lied about paying bills, ranging from furniture to utility, and i never knew until I got phone calls or notices. He lied about talking to said girl over and over and over. Said he wasn't feeling good, and was just going home, and instead went out and got a DWI. Still lied about talking to said girl. Wrote down how much he loved her. Still lied about said girl. Finally we're supposed to be working things out and being together, and he never told anyone. I found her number in his phone when it shouldn't have been, and he lied and said she came into where he works and put it there. Actually found out that was a lie, cause he doesn't work Mondays. So he blamed said girl for his own cowardice. (Which he made me hate you, and for that I am sorry.) He's been teaching our son to lie. Found a brand new myspace he created to talk to said girl. The password for the account was the date they started hanging out. He said it wasn't what I thought, etc, etc. He said it was just a couple emails on myspace, and he was so sorry, and it was only a couple weeks. But i came to discover that he also created a brand new email address and had been talking to her for months, and made plans to hang out with her, and talked to her on the phone. So even when he was busted and caught, and trying to fix things and apologize, he still was lying. "Oh I don't turn my back on my friends." Really, cause I can think of a couple friends who really need you and i don't see you stalking them like this. "Oh when I say I love you to her its like when you say you love your friends." Really? Cause I didn't sleep with any of my friends. I didn't create brand new myspaces revolving soley around one of them. I'm not sneaking around and lying. But again, there was forgiveness. One last last last chance. "It'll never happen again, I'm done with her, she means nothing to me." So fine, we'll try to work this out. I actually thought that we did. I thought that this was a brand new start, and we were good. We got married. (His idea, not mine.) Then yesterday I discover that he's been using his dad's myspace account to talk to same said girl since January. In them he calls her mi vida (which, for those of you who don't know, means my life.) He says how much he misses her, and is thinking about her, and blah blah blah. Didn't tell her we got married might I add. And when I confront him? He says the same things over and over that he did all the other times he got caught. "I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. She means nothing to me. I love you." If she meant nothing to you, we wouldn't be going through this. If she means nothing to you, you wouldn't have to sneak around, you would be a man about it, and just say, she's my friend, deal with it. If she means nothing to you, you wouldn't go to such great lengths to hide what you say is just a friendship. If she means nothing to you, then why are you calling her my life??? "It's not what you think." Well, to those of you who read this, what would you think?? Prolly the same thing as me.
So here we are again. Right back where we started. For two years, he has been lying to me about everything. He even gets caught, and lies, and blames everyone and anyone he can so he doesn't look bad. He has never even told said girl why I dislike her, that it is all his fault. He says its my insecurities. So said girl thinks I'm crazy, and hates me because of him, like I think she won't leave him alone, because of him. (again, for that, I am sorry.)
I still hold the firm belief that you don't have to have sex to cheat. He is cheating. he is lying and sneaking, and getting sneakier (even tho not getting better at it.) He knew what would happen if I caught him lying again. And yet he risked it all, and for what? Oh, but he loves me. How? With half truths, and full fledged lies? By being a coward, not just to me, but to her? You love me by teaching an 8 year old to lie to his mother? You love me by constantly hurting me and disappointing me? You love me by breaking up our family? We took vows!
Its like we never went forward at all. We're still stuck in the same place that we've been in for two years. I am not his vida. I am second choice, or the because I'm here and she's not. I don't want to be a stand in. I'm tired of constantly busting him in all his lies, and hearing the same excuses over and over. I don't want to be sad anymore. And that's all he gives me. How many times should a person go thru this? He made me insecure. He made me hate someone for no reason. He made me question and doubt everything, and no one should live like that.
To this day I don't know how I managed to forgive him, or how we managed to get thru it. He really and truely has worked every day since then to make up for everything he did. He is beyond a doubt my best friend, and while no one is perfect, it strengthened us and our bond, and last week we celebrated our three year wedding anniversary!
Here we go again. This is what I won. This is the man that was mi vida, even tho apparently I'm not his.
He took money out of our wedding fund, and lied about doing it. He said his dad did. He confessed by leaving me an index card on my car. Four months before the wedding of my dreams, he left me a letter taped to the television calling off our wedding. He went for MIT training in Florida, and the night he got back, we talked about getting back together, and were even together (biblically). Two days later he told me he'd been seeing someone else, and actually picked her. He lied about paying bills, ranging from furniture to utility, and i never knew until I got phone calls or notices. He lied about talking to said girl over and over and over. Said he wasn't feeling good, and was just going home, and instead went out and got a DWI. Still lied about talking to said girl. Wrote down how much he loved her. Still lied about said girl. Finally we're supposed to be working things out and being together, and he never told anyone. I found her number in his phone when it shouldn't have been, and he lied and said she came into where he works and put it there. Actually found out that was a lie, cause he doesn't work Mondays. So he blamed said girl for his own cowardice. (Which he made me hate you, and for that I am sorry.) He's been teaching our son to lie. Found a brand new myspace he created to talk to said girl. The password for the account was the date they started hanging out. He said it wasn't what I thought, etc, etc. He said it was just a couple emails on myspace, and he was so sorry, and it was only a couple weeks. But i came to discover that he also created a brand new email address and had been talking to her for months, and made plans to hang out with her, and talked to her on the phone. So even when he was busted and caught, and trying to fix things and apologize, he still was lying. "Oh I don't turn my back on my friends." Really, cause I can think of a couple friends who really need you and i don't see you stalking them like this. "Oh when I say I love you to her its like when you say you love your friends." Really? Cause I didn't sleep with any of my friends. I didn't create brand new myspaces revolving soley around one of them. I'm not sneaking around and lying. But again, there was forgiveness. One last last last chance. "It'll never happen again, I'm done with her, she means nothing to me." So fine, we'll try to work this out. I actually thought that we did. I thought that this was a brand new start, and we were good. We got married. (His idea, not mine.) Then yesterday I discover that he's been using his dad's myspace account to talk to same said girl since January. In them he calls her mi vida (which, for those of you who don't know, means my life.) He says how much he misses her, and is thinking about her, and blah blah blah. Didn't tell her we got married might I add. And when I confront him? He says the same things over and over that he did all the other times he got caught. "I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. She means nothing to me. I love you." If she meant nothing to you, we wouldn't be going through this. If she means nothing to you, you wouldn't have to sneak around, you would be a man about it, and just say, she's my friend, deal with it. If she means nothing to you, you wouldn't go to such great lengths to hide what you say is just a friendship. If she means nothing to you, then why are you calling her my life??? "It's not what you think." Well, to those of you who read this, what would you think?? Prolly the same thing as me.
So here we are again. Right back where we started. For two years, he has been lying to me about everything. He even gets caught, and lies, and blames everyone and anyone he can so he doesn't look bad. He has never even told said girl why I dislike her, that it is all his fault. He says its my insecurities. So said girl thinks I'm crazy, and hates me because of him, like I think she won't leave him alone, because of him. (again, for that, I am sorry.)
I still hold the firm belief that you don't have to have sex to cheat. He is cheating. he is lying and sneaking, and getting sneakier (even tho not getting better at it.) He knew what would happen if I caught him lying again. And yet he risked it all, and for what? Oh, but he loves me. How? With half truths, and full fledged lies? By being a coward, not just to me, but to her? You love me by teaching an 8 year old to lie to his mother? You love me by constantly hurting me and disappointing me? You love me by breaking up our family? We took vows!
Its like we never went forward at all. We're still stuck in the same place that we've been in for two years. I am not his vida. I am second choice, or the because I'm here and she's not. I don't want to be a stand in. I'm tired of constantly busting him in all his lies, and hearing the same excuses over and over. I don't want to be sad anymore. And that's all he gives me. How many times should a person go thru this? He made me insecure. He made me hate someone for no reason. He made me question and doubt everything, and no one should live like that.
To this day I don't know how I managed to forgive him, or how we managed to get thru it. He really and truely has worked every day since then to make up for everything he did. He is beyond a doubt my best friend, and while no one is perfect, it strengthened us and our bond, and last week we celebrated our three year wedding anniversary!
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