Saturday, April 30, 2011

Extreme Couponers

Has any one seen Extreme Couponing on TLC? I love it. I have decided I want to be a crazy extreme couponer with stockpiles worth three small cars. At least I will when I find another fifty hours in a week (seriously! That's how much time the people on that show say they devote to it!) and can think that dumpster diving for coupons is a healthy way to spend my time. (seriously again!)

It makes me wonder though how their families feel about it? Is the husband in the background rolling his eyes, like "Yeah, we get groceries for free, but my wife is working with one cookie less then a dozen?" Do you think the kids try to pretend that that's not their mom? What about friends? If you're a full time homemaker with three kids who already admits she devotes fifty hours in a week to couponing, does she have time to have friends? Or a facebook/twitter/LIFE?

And what about when the years pass, and those crazy couponers get older, and eventually (like every one does at some point) die? Who wants the eulogy that says she saved a bunch of money? Or the tombstone that says she liked her coupons? Does someone really want a lifetime supply of toilet paper willed to them? Or one hundred and fifty shampoos, or two hundred toothbrushes?

I can understand people wanting to save money, especially in this economy. But at some point, when does enough become enough? Wouldn't you stop once you reached ten deodorants? I mean, how smelly can one family be? And I get that people like free stuff. (Come on now, who doesn't like something for free?) But if you don't have a baby, why are you stocking up on diapers?

I guess I wonder that if saving money comes at the expense of spending family time, or hubby time, or friend time, is saving that dollar really worth it?

An Oldie From The Past

This is an old blog I wrote, when everyone used to use MySpace. (Remember that? It was only like 2 years ago!) The hubs and I survived, but barely. There was counseling, talking, and alot of rebuilding. I'm glad I did give him a second chance, even though at the time I really wanted to bury him in the backyard. But every relationship takes work, and effort, and every marriage is or better or for worse. It's easier to walk away when the going gets tough, but it's the true measure of a relationship if you can stick around.

Here we go again. This is what I won. This is the man that was mi vida, even tho apparently I'm not his.

He took money out of our wedding fund, and lied about doing it. He said his dad did. He confessed by leaving me an index card on my car. Four months before the wedding of my dreams, he left me a letter taped to the television calling off our wedding. He went for MIT training in Florida, and the night he got back, we talked about getting back together, and were even together (biblically). Two days later he told me he'd been seeing someone else, and actually picked her. He lied about paying bills, ranging from furniture to utility, and i never knew until I got phone calls or notices. He lied about talking to said girl over and over and over. Said he wasn't feeling good, and was just going home, and instead went out and got a DWI. Still lied about talking to said girl. Wrote down how much he loved her. Still lied about said girl. Finally we're supposed to be working things out and being together, and he never told anyone. I found her number in his phone when it shouldn't have been, and he lied and said she came into where he works and put it there. Actually found out that was a lie, cause he doesn't work Mondays. So he blamed said girl for his own cowardice. (Which he made me hate you, and for that I am sorry.) He's been teaching our son to lie. Found a brand new myspace he created to talk to said girl. The password for the account was the date they started hanging out. He said it wasn't what I thought, etc, etc. He said it was just a couple emails on myspace, and he was so sorry, and it was only a couple weeks. But i came to discover that he also created a brand new email address and had been talking to her for months, and made plans to hang out with her, and talked to her on the phone. So even when he was busted and caught, and trying to fix things and apologize, he still was lying. "Oh I don't turn my back on my friends." Really, cause I can think of a couple friends who really need you and i don't see you stalking them like this. "Oh when I say I love you to her its like when you say you love your friends." Really? Cause I didn't sleep with any of my friends. I didn't create brand new myspaces revolving soley around one of them. I'm not sneaking around and lying. But again, there was forgiveness. One last last last chance. "It'll never happen again, I'm done with her, she means nothing to me." So fine, we'll try to work this out. I actually thought that we did. I thought that this was a brand new start, and we were good. We got married. (His idea, not mine.) Then yesterday I discover that he's been using his dad's myspace account to talk to same said girl since January. In them he calls her mi vida (which, for those of you who don't know, means my life.) He says how much he misses her, and is thinking about her, and blah blah blah. Didn't tell her we got married might I add. And when I confront him? He says the same things over and over that he did all the other times he got caught. "I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. She means nothing to me. I love you." If she meant nothing to you, we wouldn't be going through this. If she means nothing to you, you wouldn't have to sneak around, you would be a man about it, and just say, she's my friend, deal with it. If she means nothing to you, you wouldn't go to such great lengths to hide what you say is just a friendship. If she means nothing to you, then why are you calling her my life??? "It's not what you think." Well, to those of you who read this, what would you think?? Prolly the same thing as me.

So here we are again. Right back where we started. For two years, he has been lying to me about everything. He even gets caught, and lies, and blames everyone and anyone he can so he doesn't look bad. He has never even told said girl why I dislike her, that it is all his fault. He says its my insecurities. So said girl thinks I'm crazy, and hates me because of him, like I think she won't leave him alone, because of him. (again, for that, I am sorry.)

I still hold the firm belief that you don't have to have sex to cheat. He is cheating. he is lying and sneaking, and getting sneakier (even tho not getting better at it.) He knew what would happen if I caught him lying again. And yet he risked it all, and for what? Oh, but he loves me. How? With half truths, and full fledged lies? By being a coward, not just to me, but to her? You love me by teaching an 8 year old to lie to his mother? You love me by constantly hurting me and disappointing me? You love me by breaking up our family? We took vows!

Its like we never went forward at all. We're still stuck in the same place that we've been in for two years. I am not his vida. I am second choice, or the because I'm here and she's not. I don't want to be a stand in. I'm tired of constantly busting him in all his lies, and hearing the same excuses over and over. I don't want to be sad anymore. And that's all he gives me. How many times should a person go thru this? He made me insecure. He made me hate someone for no reason. He made me question and doubt everything, and no one should live like that.

To this day I don't know how I managed to forgive him, or how we managed to get thru it. He really and truely has worked every day since then to make up for everything he did. He is beyond a doubt my best friend, and while no one is perfect, it strengthened us and our bond, and last week we celebrated our three year wedding anniversary!
I'm addicted to watching Food Network. Which is funny, since I can't cook for anything. No, seriously, I can't. I burn water! (Thankfully my husband fell in love with me before knowing this!) But I do love the Food Network, and all of it's shows. One of my favorites is Giada De Laurentis. She's this amazing Italian cook who always seems like she could whip up a six course meal blindfolded, with her hands tied behind her back, jumping on one leg.

I was watching one of her shows  few weeks ago, and her daughter was on. Now keep in mind, her daughter can't be older then two? Three? And I watched this adorable little girl sit down and eat things I couldn't even begin to pronounce. (Chick peas was an ingredient. Kale was too I think. Other then that, you got me!)

I thought, "What's her sercret?" How does she get her toddler to eat all these perfectly balanced and beautiful meals without so much as a fuss, a scream, a tantrum? My just turned two year old? He went thru a phase of only eating waffles. All day long. Morning, noon, night, and in between. We've managed to broaden his horizons a little, but he basically only wants carbs now. Pasta, pototoes, bread, waffles. If we can get him to eat a chicken nugget we call it a success.

We have followed the doctor's orders, you know, make him what we eat every time, and just keep putting it in front of him. That really doesn't work people. He shrieks because he doesn't want it, he then tries to feed it to us, and in the end, it's a standby of buttered noodles or french fries and apples for him.

I know it's a stage, and he's trying out his personality, and all the other things people say. But for a moment watching Giada, I have to admit there was a feeling of inadequacy. Like she can get her daughter to eat hearts of palm without a fuss, I'd be happy if #2 ate peanut butter! Or a carrot.  Or something green. (And does anyone even know what hearts of palm is? I'm not gonna lie, it sounds a bit scary, like some poor something or another had to die so you could eat it's heart. I think it's veggie..but maybe not.)

How'd she do it? Did she have to bribe her with a lifetime supply of trips to Disney world? Did they have to do thirty takes, and give her a big chocolate bunny before and after?  Did she put sugar on her daughters food and we just didn't see? Is it even possible for a toddler to not have a tantrum and eat everything and anything?

What about you? Any tricks, tips, or just plain funny stories about trying to get your child to eat?