Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Writer's Workshop - Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I love my husband. I do. But my poor, sweet, honest husband has had to learn a thing or two about the little white lie. Like he should use it. Often. For the sanity of our relationship, here's ten things that I have decided are the hot button topics that no matter what his answer is, he is guaranteed a night on the couch, or I will be guaranteed to have a "headache."

1. Does this dress make me look fat? Obviously if I'm asking him this, I feel fat. But my husband is a nice, honest guy. You can guess where his honesty landed him!

2. Don't you remember I said that already? If I'm repeating myself, no, he didn't remember. And then I get all angry because I think he doesn't pay attention to me, and then he winds up  on the couch.

3. Can we stop and ask for directions? Before smart phones that slice and dice and are GPS ready, we got lost. A lot. And hubby says he knows where he's going, and it's just up ahead. Two hours later, we're in Pittsburgh.

4. Do you want to go shopping with me? No man likes to go shopping. I can't think of any other question that will make him run screaming from the room like that!

5. Have you seen the credit card? Unlike the hubs, I am a shopper. I love the mall. And he knows if I'm trying to hunt down the credit card, he's going to have a heart attack when the bill comes next month.

6. and 7. Aren't you done yet? You're done already? Enough said.

8. Did you forget today's our anniversary/Valentines day/etc? What is it about guys? They can remember who threw the fastest curve ball to score the touchdown. (I know, I totally just mixed sports didn't I?) But when it comes to remembering your anniversary...."I thought it was tomorrow." DOH!

9. Do you think <insert famous singer/actress name here> is prettier then me? You really don't want the answer to this. I have thankfully never asked this, but I could only imagine how long the hubs would be couch bound if I did and didn't like the answer!

10. Is that a grey hair? Totally mean, and not appreciated. But, I got him back. The hubs is going to be thirty-seven this year, and he gets the heebie jeebies when I joke that he's like the crypt keeper!

Mama Kat totally inspires me, and got me out of the school books again!


  1. Lol- I tell my husband he is getting grey hair in his beard all the time and he swears they are just blonde.

  2. @Mallory I swear te hubs is loosing his sight. He pretends to not see them!